Here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods. On a Sears hairdryer:“Do not use while sleeping.”(and that’s the only time I have to work on my hair). On a bag of Fritos:“You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.”(the shoplifter special)? On a bar of Dial soap:“Directions: Use like regular soap.”(and that
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television was Fred and Wilma Flintstone. Coca-Cola was originally green. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury. State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska. Percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28. Percentage of
If Biblical Headlines were written by Today’s Liberal Media On Red Sea crossing:WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKEPursuing Environmentalists Killed On David vs. Goliath:HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPIONPsychologist Questions Influence of Rock On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY400 Killed On the birth of Christ:HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESSAnimal Rights Activists Enraged
“Heavenly Father, we come before you today to ask Your forgiveness and to seek Your direction and guidance.We know Your word says, ‘Woe to those who call evil good,’ but that is exactly what we have done. We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and inverted our values.We confess that we have ridiculed the absolute truth
‘Let us bow our hair.’ – Paul Box ‘God gave you a tongue so you could use it to legibly praise Him.’ – Jack Hyles ‘May God bless this great shower of herring.’ – Unknown Methodist ‘The force was so strong that it LITERALLY tore my arm off.’ – Nelson Hodges (with both arms attached)
It’s funny how we set our clocks to arise at 4:00 am or 5:00 am to be at the job by 7:30; yet, when Sunday comes we can’t get to church for the 11:00 am service to praise the one who gave us the jobs! It’s funny how we call God our Father and Jesus
Now, for those who speed on the highway – a few hymns for you: 45 mph..God will Take Care of You 55 mph..Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah 65 mph..Nearer My God to Thee 75 mph..Nearer Still Nearer 85 mph..This World Is Not My Home 95 mph..Lord, I’m Coming Home and over 100 mph..Precious Memories
May 15, 1918 – The first experimental airmail route in the U.S. was started. May 15, 1930 – United Airlines began employing stewardesses. May 16, 1868 – The attempt to impeach President Andrew Johnson failed. May 16, 1966 – The cultural revolution began. May 17, 1845 – The rubber band was patented. May 19, 1536
It doesn’t take a degree in Sociology or Psychology to know what people think. All you need to do is read the bumper stickers that clutter up the cars that are cluttering up the roads. For better or worse, whether you agree with them or not, this is what people are thinking and saying about
You see them everywhere. Bumper stickers that is. It is estimated that there are over 180 million registered motor vehicles in the United States. As you well know, many of these cars have a bumper sticker plastered on their rear bumper. If the car is old and rusty, there may be multiple bumper stickers to
Employer’s Lingo: “COMPETITIVE SALARY” We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors. “JOIN OUR FAST-PACED TEAM” We have no time to train you. “CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE” We don’t pay enough to expect that you’ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings. “MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED” You’ll be six months
Written by: Warren W.Wiersbe Words are to preachers what nails and tools are to carpenters, oils are to portrait painters and medicines are to physicians. Using the wrong words is like mixing the wrong colors, working with the wrong tools or prescribing the wrong drugs. It could lead to disaster. Mark Twain put it perfectly: