Odds-n-Ends . Volume 02 | Issue 07

Bumper Snickers?

You see them everywhere. Bumper stickers that is. It is estimated that there are over 180 million registered motor vehicles in the United States. As you well know, many of these cars have a bumper sticker plastered on their rear bumper.

If the car is old and rusty, there may be multiple bumper stickers to cover rust spots and/or hold the car together. There’s a new paperback book out called, “The Bumper Sticker Book.” The authors went looking for the 500 most memorable slogans and then wrote the book. Of course, Paul Harvey made bumper stickers famous years ago with bumper snickers. Here are some of the author’s gems with a few of my own contributions thrown in for grins.

  • My Karma ran over your dogma
  • Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition
  • This is not an abandoned vehicle
  • It’s as bad as you think and they are out to get you
  • If you don’t want it printed, don’t do it
  • Nuke Ruschlikon
  • Life’s too short to dance with ugly men
  • It’s been lovely, but I have to scream now
  • Will Rogers never met a lawyer
  • It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better
  • Is there life before coffee?
  • Don’t steal. Our congress hates the competition
  • Cover me. I’m changing lanes
  • Save California; when you leave take someone with you
  • I came, I saw, I did a little shopping
  • There’s one in every crowd and they always find me
  • If money could talk, it would say, GOODBYE
  • Just when you think you’ve run the rat race along come faster rats
  • If it’s too loud, you’re too old
  • My worst day fishing is better than my best day working
  • Never try to bribe the Almighty
  • Cynics know the price of everything and the value of nothing
  • I may be fat but you’re ugly and I can lose weight
  • No tape player. Already stolen
  • Carlsbad Caverns: 22 percent more cavities
  • Flying saucers are real, the Air Force doesn’t exist
  • I don’t care who you are, what you are driving, or where you would rather be
  • So many pedestrians, so little time
  • Bachelor till Rapture
  • My other car is a Rolls
  • It may be old but it’s paid for
  • Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven
  • Go to heaven
  • Tithe if you love Jesus, anyone can honk

I always look at the person driving the car when I see a bumper sticker. I wonder why they put that stupid sticker on their car. Does it make any sense to buy a $20,000 car and cover up part of it with a $1.50 piece of plastic. Is the message that important?

Whether you know it or not, you are wearing a bumper sticker. The places you go, the things you do, the language you use is an advertisement for your life, values, morals and convictions.

I wonder how many would label us “Christians.” Pure. Simple. Direct. To the point. Would anyone look at us and think without a doubt, that person is a Christian? Maybe it’s time to examine ourselves to see if what we are promoting with our life is consistent with our body sticker.

Profound bumper sticker…”I Am NOT a TELEVANGELIST!”

©Michael C. Catt, I Left My Mind in Mississippi…But I Still Have My Ministry (Columbus, Brentwood, 1994).