Others May…You Cannot
If God has called you to be really like Jesus He will draw you into a life of crucifixion and humility, and put upon you such demands of obedience, that you will not be able to follow other people, or measure yourself by other Christians, and in many ways He will seem to let other
The Twelve Thank-you Notes of Christmas
Dec 25 My dearest darling Edward, What a wonderful surprise has just greeted me! That sweet partridge, in that lovely little pear-tree; what an enchanting, romantic, poetic present! Bless you, and thank you. Your deeply loving,Emily Dec. 26 Beloved Edward, The two turtle-doves arrived this morning, and are cooing away in the pear-tree as I
British Children’s Answers to Church School Questions
Noah’s wife was called Joan of Ark.The fifth commandment is Humor thy father and mother.Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt by day, and a ball of fire at night.When Mary heard she was to be the mother of Jesus, she went off and sang the Magna Carta.Salome was a woman who danced naked in
These Classified Ads Could Have Used a Little More Work
Lost: One small apricot poodle. Neutered. Like one of the family. A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine foods expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms. Dinner Special-Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00 For sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. For sale: a quilted high chair that can
Church Dictionary
AMEN: The only part of a prayer that everyone knows. BULLETIN: Parish information, read only during the homily. CHOIR: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync. HYMN: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation’s range. INCENSE: Holy Smoke!
You Make Me Laugh
A daily dose of clean jokes. *Liberal Headlines* If Biblical Headlines were written by today’s liberal media On Red Sea crossing:WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKEPursuing Environmentalists Killed On David vs. Goliath:HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPIONPsychologist Questions Influence of Rock On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY400 Killed On the birth of
Glossolalia
A vocabulary list for the postmod church.We actually heard each of these used in a sentence recently. BiComm – short for Biblical Communication; like the sermon, only more, uh, authentic CEOs – people who attend church on Christmas-and-Easter-only Cheese meter – the buster’s on-board detector for all that’s not authentic Chreasters – see CEOs Coaching Team – the ministers formerly
Christian Bumper Stickers
Be ye fishers of men. You catch them – He’ll clean them.Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.Don’t wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.Forbidden fruits create many jams.God doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called.God grades on the cross, not
Random Thoughts
Some people are. kind, polite, and sweet-spirited-until you try to sit-in their pews. Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisers. It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one. The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close. When you get to your wits
Is It Sunday Again?
By Warren W. Wiersbe The next time you awaken on Sunday morning and groan because you feel you are not prepared to preach, take solace from these words from “The Prince of Preachers,” Charles Haddon Spurgeon. He had busy weeks, too! “My discourse on Sabbath mornings is very frequently the gathering up of the thoughts
Ideas For Fall
By Warren W. Wiersbe Of course you’ve been thinking about your autumn preaching plans! You’ve noted that September 1 is Labor Day Sunday, not the best day to start a new series; and October 27 is Reformation Sunday. Advent begins December 1, and Christmas is on a Wednesday. So is New Year’s Day! Happy planning!
Getting Their Attention
Adapted from: The Lost Art of a Great Speech When it comes to great acts, I have a spot in my heart for Elvis impersonators. I’ve seen an Asian Elvis, an Elvis with an Afro, a kid Elvis and I’ve paid homage at the Church of Elvis. But the king of Elvis impersonators is a