Things I Have Learned About Oklahoma
Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Oklahoma. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Oklahoma, plus a couple no one’s seen before. Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when
Where Churches Stand
The confirmation of the Episcopal Church’s first gay bishop makes it the first major Christian denomination to say that people in committed gay relationships are not barred from leadership. How other denominations stand on ordaining homosexuals, blessing same-sex unions and ordaining women: Denomination No. of Members(in millions) Ordain Openly Gay Clergy Bless Same-sex Unions Ordain
You Know You’re From Oklahoma If…
You measure distance in minutes. You’ve ever had to switch from “heat” to “A/C in the same day. Stores don’t have bags; they have sacks. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year. You use “fix” as a verb.
A Virus Update …
I thought you would want to know about this e-mail virus. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1960. Symptoms: Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. Causes you to send a blank e-mail. Causes you
New Bill of Rights
The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from Georgia. “We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and
Even More One-Liners
I intend to live forever. So far, so good. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Support bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have. When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane. When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
God Won’t Ask!
God won’t ask the square footage of your house, but He’ll ask how many people you Welcomed into your home. God won’task about the clothes you had in your closet but He’ll ask how many you helped to clothe. God won’t ask what your highest salary was, but He’ll ask if you compromised your character
Brain Cramps
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,” –Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA
The B.C.
This story is about a rather old fashioned lady, who was planning a couple of weeks’ vacation in Florida. She also was quite delicate and elegant with her language. She wrote a letter to a particular campground and asked for reservations. She wanted to make sure the campground was fully equipped but didn’t know quite
Twelve Famous Rules for Reading
Read Read Read some more Read anything Read about everything Read enjoyable things Read things you yourself enjoy Read and talk about it Read very carefully – some things Read on the run – most things Don’t think about when you are going to get time to read but Just read 2ProphetU2ProphetU is an online
Getting Their Attention
Adapted from: The Lost Art of a Great Speech When it comes to great acts, I have a spot in my heart for Elvis impersonators. I’ve seen an Asian Elvis, an Elvis with an Afro, a kid Elvis and I’ve paid homage at the Church of Elvis. But the king of Elvis impersonators is a
Bumper Stickers
Dain bramaged Eat well, stay fit, die anyway All men are animals, some just make better pets Boldly going nowhere Body by Nautilus; brain by Mattel Caution – driver legally blonde IRS – we’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got How many roads must a man travel down before he admits he