Eutychus: One Large Church

If there’s a lesson to learn from fast-food restaurants, it’s that an incredible number of people want to be fed without coming inside. One church in our area is trying to apply that lesson with its own version of the drive-up window.

Its building occupies only a fraction of its property. The rest is covered with paved drives leading past “menus” and microphones to quick-service windows and booths.

Without setting foot inside this church, a Fast-Faith Harry (or Harriet) can “pick up” most of its services. At one window, you can get taped sermons in 10-, 20-, and 30-minute versions (“Have It Your Length at First FastChurch”) . At another window, you can pick up prerecorded congregational singing-or choose a fully orchestrated accompaniment and provide your own. Automated Communion Dispensers (ACDs) dispense the elements in recyclable containers.

Of course, before you leave this church’s property you drive through what looks like a toll booth, where you can drop off your offering. I’m told they’re planning to begin a check-cashing service as well-for your convenience, of course.

Land adjacent to the property has been acquired to build a future “promised land Playland” where children can be dropped off while you pick up your custom church service. And next to that will be a modified car wash, to provide drive-thru baptisms (sprinkling or immersion, depending on how long you stay).

During this recent expansion, the only enhancement to the original church building was an observation deck. After all, it’s important that the few “inside” church members who started the whole thing be able to monitor their church’s ministry without leaving the building themselves.

Previously printed in Christianity Today.

2ProphetU

2ProphetU is an online magazine/website, started by Warren Wiersbe and Michael Catt, to build up the church, seek revival, and encourage pastors.