I grew up with baseball. I was thinking, maybe we could reach more baseball fans if we used their terminology. Sometimes we are guilty of using Christian “shop talk” that the unbeliever does not understand. Without further explanation, the following is an attempt to “relate” to all those baseball fans out there.
Also known as choir practice every Wednesday night.
The first fifty who sign up get a cap or tee-shirt with the church’s name on it. Usually worn to do yard work.
The evening service. Since it’s on TV, why fight the traffic?
Programs, Get Your Programs
The bulletin. You must have a program to see what the pastor and minister of music planned on Tuesday for the Holy Spirit to do on Sunday. Don’t tamper with the program.
A list of announcements ranging from a garden club meeting to a campout that absolutely, positively must be announced to the church even though the events only affect those on the third base side.
When the choir enters the service, it’s time to play ball. Too late now to run to the concession stand. Your only hope is that “the game” doesn’t go into extra innings.
The minister of music moves into the box (pulpit) and waves his arms around (he’s loosening up). He plans to send one deep into the balcony on How Great Thou Art.
It seems the service will never end so we can get home and see what mom put on the plate.
The men huddled up outside getting their last puff and talking a lot of bull before going into the service to sweat it out.
What appears to happen any time one cloud the size of a man’s hand appears on the horizon. Statistics prove that for every one drop of rain, ten Baptists stay home. Baptists don’t believe in sprinkling.
Folks who want to get as far away from the action as possible. They sit at the back in church, but want front row seats for anything else.
Today’s full slate of activities for you and your family. Plus, tonight we have a high powered evangelist coming to speak.
You’re in the middle of a conversation and you’re being critical of another church member. Suddenly you realize they are related. You’re wondering if you’ll ever be “dug out.”
The last verse of the invitation. Do you stay put and hope you get to take a walk home or do you go for it?
Hit the Showers
What the preacher, minister of music and choir must do after sitting under the TV lights.
Wouldn’t be appropriate, so we clap or say “Amen!”
Third Base Coach
Always giving the staff advice. Says he checked with the manager, but the only problem is that the owner calls the shots.
7th Inning Stretch
The offering. We want it to be easy to give, so we let you stand and reach for your wallet.
They show you to your seat and hand out programs. If you have season tickets, you don’t need one unless a visitor is so rude as to sit in your seat.
What mom puts in her purse to keep the kids quiet during church.
Home Plate Umpire
The church moderator who helps control the crowd. He should eject more from the game.
© 2006, Michael Catt, 2ProphetU
© 1990, “Coach” Michael Catt
Michael served as the President of the Large Church Roundtable, the Southern Baptist Convention as an IMB Trustee, President of the Georgia Baptist Convention’s Preaching Conference, Vice President of the Georgia Baptist Convention, and President of the 2008 Southern Baptist Convention Pastors’ Conference. He has spoken at conferences, colleges, seminaries, rallies, camps, NBA and college chapel services, well as The Billy Graham Training Center at The Cove. Michael is the recipient of The Martin Luther King Award, The MLK Unity Award, and a Georgia Senate Resolution in recognition of his work in the community and in racial reconciliation.
Michael and his wife, Terri, have two grown daughters, Erin and Hayley.