1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
2. Don’t let anyone tell you you’re getting old. Squash their toes with your rocker.
3. The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
4. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me. I want people to know why I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way and some of the roads weren’t paved.
5. Maturity means being emotionally and mentally healthy. It is that time when you know when to say yes and when to say no, and when to say WHOOPEE!
6. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
7. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
8. I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
9. The golden years are really just metallic years, gold in the tooth, silver in your hair, and lead in the seat.
10. Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18.
11. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
12. Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It is more often a succession of jerks.
13. Yeah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.
14. Old age is when former classmates are so gray and wrinkled, and blind they don’t recognize you.
15. If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you are old.
*Thanks to Pastor Tim for this joke!*
Redeem The Time
How much time…do you have left for God? Time slips by faster than we realize. I thought of that recently when my wife and I walked across a footbridge near our cabin. We were certain we had watched it being built just one year before. To our amazement, however, the date inscribed in the concrete was 1979!
Time seems to fly…when we have jobs we know we should be doing for the Lord. Before we realize it, weeks and months have slipped away and we still haven’t gotten to them. For example, there’s a book of the Bible we wanted to read or that good friend we told ourselves to witness to. And with each passing day we have one day less in which to do it.
Someone has mathematically…calculated a schedule that compares the average lifetime with a single day, beginning at 7 a.m. If your age is:
15, the time is 10:25 a.m.
25, the time is 12:42 p.m.
35, the time is 3:00 p.m.
45, the time is 5:16 p.m.
55, the time is 7:34 p.m.
65, the time is 9:55 p.m.
70, the time is 11:00 p.m.
My friend, where do you…fit into this schedule? How many promises to the Lord remain unfulfilled? And how much time do you have left to get things done you’ve always wanted to do? You know how quickly the years roll by. Get busy today, while you have time left for God.
A Recipe of Joy
Forget the kindness that you do,
As soon as you have done it;
Forget the praise that falls on you,
The moment you have won it.
Forget the slander that you hear,
Before you can repeat it;
Forget each slight, or spite, or sneer,
Wherever you may need it.
Remember every kindness done,
To you, whate’er its measure;
Remember praise by others won,
And pass it on with pleasure.
Remember every promise made,
And keep it to the letter;
Remember those who lend you aid,
And be a grateful debtor.
Remember all the happiness
That comes your way in living;
Forget each worry and distress,
Be hopeful and forgiving.
Remember good, remember truth,
Remember heavens above you,
And you will find through age and youth
True joy and hearts to love you.
– Author Unknown
2ProphetU is an online magazine/website, started by Warren Wiersbe and Michael Catt, to build up the church, seek revival, and encourage pastors.