Odds-n-Ends . Volume 04 | Issue 09

Readership Trends

NewspaperPercentage of all newspaper readers in the U.S.
Sections ReadAdultsMenWomen
Business/Finance404732
Classified363635
Comics343533
Editorial page424044
Food/Cooking311845
General News706872
Home/Furnishings/Gardening261735
Movie Listings and Reviews312635
Sports435827
TV/Radio Listings312932
Average Weekday Audience99,85050,87348,977

Source: Mediamark Research Inc., Spring 2003; Prepared by NAA Business Analysis & Research Dept.

The following are excerpts taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in the July 21, 1997 issue of Fortune Magazine.

  • I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.
  • I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.
  • Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
  • Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.
  • Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
  • Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
  • It’s best for employers that I not work with people.
  • Let’s meet, so you can ‘ooh’ and ‘aah’ over my experience.
  • You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.
  • Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
  • I was working for my mom until she decided to move.
  • Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments.
  • I have an excellent track record, although I am no a horse.
  • I am loyal to my employer at all costs… Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.
  • I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.
  • goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.
  • I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.
  • Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far.
  • As indicted, I have over five years of analyzing investments.
  • Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chainstore.
  • Note: Please don’t misconstrue my 14 jobs as ‘job-hopping’. I have never quit a job.
  • Marital status: often. Children: various.
  • Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 am every morning. I couldn’t work under those conditions.
  • The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.
  • Finished eighth in my class of ten.
  • References: none. I’ve left a path of destruction behind me.